My name is Dr. Mandible

I like to take the intangible

And make them into

Reality . . .

 I will break your heart in two,

With a carving blade,

Not a lover’s spade!

And split your gut with a butcher’s tool!

 I can put that foot right in your mouth,

Though, it might hurt just a touch.

And if you want to lose your head,

 I can help!

With a whack of my axe.

 Then place it somewhere you will never look.

 I will pull your leg right off,

Just to beat in your brains with it.

 Then I’ll roll your eyes into a country jam

 And feed them to you on some buttered toast,

 With a piece of your simple mind.

 Because my name is Dr. Mandible,

 And I like to take things literal,

 You are just the person to show some spine.

By Emily Smith-Miller